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Trusting the darkness

November is being a dark, dark month. Forcing all of us to step forward out of our comfort zone, whether we want to or not. Whether we think we are prepared for it or not. We are being pushed. Shoved. Turned inside out. I certainly feel like inside a never ending washing machine. There's no time to find my bearings. Many of us feel we are reaching our breaking point. Exhausted and terrified. And we are.

We are meant to feel our own limitations as that is the only way to break past them, extend them and expand them. It is the only way for us to grow.

Growth pains exist. As babies, when we grow our first teeth, we agonise. But those teeth are the reason why we can expand what we eat transitioning from liquids to solids. And it is that expansion that enables us to grow into children and later adults.

It is the same with any other kind of growth including our growth as beings.

Yes, it hurts. It's painful. It angers us. Creates anxiety. It's enfuriating.

Many times we think we literally won't make it and all we envision ahead is a pit of emptiness, darkness and nothingness. We feel alone. Abandoned. Betrayed. We thought we had done it. So much work already, so much compromise, so much suffering. For what?

But you see, just because we overcame the pain of teething as babies, later on they will still fall and be replaced b bigger teeth. And even then these new ones might grow crooked and we'll need some help. Braces. A dentist. We'll need to brush them daily.

They are strong but can crack. They are clean but don't clean themselves. Infections, cavities..all will happen if we don't take constant care of them. Respect them. Aknowledge their importance.

It's the same with us. A never ending journey of self care, love and purpose.

Just like when our baby teeth fall, you might feel a void for a while. It might be damn scary. But a stronger you will grow from it. And just because you don't know your own strength, it doesn't mean you should be afraid of it.

Allow yourself to fall, and be pushed over the edge. Whether everyone around us is sharing the same fear as a collective or not, the journey will always be just us.

Trust your journey.

PS- I'm scared too

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